And am I ever relieved to say that. After a 22-hour journey we're back home, safe and sound. Garrett did pretty good for being such a little guy--none of us slept a wink from Almaty to Minneapolis, which is probably why I'm sick as a dog right now. (Also the reason why I haven't been able to update the blog.) In fact, my body still hasn't adjusted to MST yet.
We had a nice greeting at the airport, both Aunt Suzanne and Aunt Rochelle were there to meet the "little kazman." He was thrilled with the balloons and the attention. That wasn't the case with my car. It did start after 50 days sitting idle, but once on the freeway, the dashboard alerted us to a warning--"stop car immediately. See service manual." It was a warning I'd never seen before. Bob figured it just needed oil, so we pulled off and topped up. But still the light remained on. Once off the freeway, we started hearing loud pinging sounds. Afraid to drive home, I stopped at the nearest service station and had them take a look under the hood. The oil pump was clogged with unknown debris. Pump is now working, but they tell us there's been significant damage done to the engine due to lack of oil lubrication. My car now sits at the Volkswagen dealer, awaiting its verdict. Of course, that's another contributing factor to my being sick right now--it's just more money we don't have right now. Oh well.
Back to more important things: Garrett is adjusting to home life better than expected. At first, he was terrified of Cody, our big Australian Shepherd. But Bob did a good job showing Garrett that Cody is just a big puppy dog. Totally harmless. Garrett has a high energy level and is up at the crack of dawn. In between his needs, I'm trying to get doctor and assessment appointments made. Next week, he's being tested for Early Childhood Screening that's offered through the public schools. We hope he qualifies for speech and physical therapy. Also made an appointment with an attachment psychologist that specialies in institutionalized children. That should be interesting. During our orphanage visits, and the first week at the apartment in Uralsk, Garrett was totally attached to me. The minute we hit Almaty things shifted: now papa is his world and he freaks when Bob is out of sight. He goes into a tantrum and wants nothing to do with me. He's also regressing. I'm having a hard time with this shift as well as dealing with a touch of post-partnum blues, so I hope to get as much out of our psych visit as Garrett does. Other things on the long to-do list: we all need to be tested for TB and Garrett has to get his social security number (a requirement for medical insurance). Anything else I should be doing these first few weeks? Thankfully, Bob is off the next week as we're down to one car right now.
Tomorrow I hope to download all our photos and get a few posted, so you can see some of the places and faces we've seen and met. As for now, I need to get my sick butt to bed.
19 comments:
Karen, Bob & Garrett, We are so glad to hear that you are home safe & sound. It sounds as if it's a tough time right now -- hang in there! Our thoughts & prayers will be with you.
We are taking care of the apartment in Uralsk -- when you're feeling better please keep in touch! Jack, Cheryl & Hailee
Good to hear that you are all home safe and sound. It does sound like you have a lot on your plate, so soon after returning home. I hope that things slow down a bit and that your cold clears up quickly!!
Take care & looking forward to your photos,
Eileen
Oh sweetie, I am SO SORRY you are sick and your car has issues. That's hard enough to deal with on their own WITHOUT a new child to boot. In my reading, what you're going thru with Garrett sounds like something that is very normal with newly adopted kiddo's. I don't know if that helps you to know that, when you're in the thick of it, but regressing and attaching to Bob and not you, and vice versa is all normal. It's good that you are going to see someone to talk to. I think that will allay your fears and i'm sure you'll get some good suggestions on what to do.
My thoughts and prayers are with you guys, and you WILL GET THRU THIS. Think of all the changes that Garrett and you are going thru-they are HUGE, life alterting things-it would not be "Normal" if it was an easy adjustment. These are huge things you're both dealing with.
Get yourself better and tackle on thing at a time.
The new rumor is that the 50 age thing is being passed-so that had me an an emotional tizzy yesterday. I am better today, but we still don't know that much.
Right now, Sean is mad at me because I am trying to encourage him to type his research paper so we can go to Disney on Monday. He has 6 weeks left of school that are crammed full of things due, and he is over it. I set up my laptop with microsoft word, etc, and got him started, but he claims he's "too tired" and I'm so mean. whatever.....
No one ever said having kids was easy....and ESPECIALLY building families thru adoption-that is even harder.
Get yourself healed, and BABY STEPS Pere family, baby steps.
you will get there, and one day you'll be fighting about typing research papers and going to Disney. :)
love to you and welcome home. :)
Yeah! So happy to hear your family is home (sorry to hear about the difficulties though). It took me a full six days to feel normal after my return from Almaty and I didn't have a new child to deal with (yet). Hang in, get good sleep, and enjoy the new family.
Shannon
Glad that you are home where you have access to doctors who speak English and lots of help I'm sure. Sorry to hear that the flight and transition has been rough. From what I read on other's blogs, this is all perfectly normal - from the seemingly unending illness to the changing parental preference to the regressing skills. In no time things will turn around - you'll get better, Garrett will adjust and be more comfortable in his new surroundings and start to blossom again. Here's hoping that comes very soon! In the meantime, get some rest and enjoy the luxuries of home!
Yeah you are home. I'm so sorry you are sick and the whole thing with the car. That's the last thing you need! Poor Garrett -- everything is all new and how scary that must be. He will get through it but I know that is very difficult for you and Bob right now. Great idea on going to an attachment speacialist. You will get a lot of great ideas and help from that. It's so nice that you have the summer in order to get Garrett acclimated before the school year. If you have any questions about a 5(or 7) year old boy -- I have two resident experts!!! So feel free to email or call.
I'm glad you are home!!!Keep posting so we can see how you are doing.
Hang in there Karen. I hope you feel better soon. The first week or two trying to shake the jet lag and get used to be home again is HARD. No denying that.
The first 2.5-3 months were the hardest for me. After that things started clicking. It just takes time to get used to, and issues to deal with. There are good moments, yes, but there are also lots of struggles early on, and that's ok too. The hardships help us all grow and have a deeper relationship in the end (though it doesn't seem like it at the time!).
If you ever feel like you need to talk to someone who's been there, done that, and totally "get's" all the feelings you're going through, feel free to give me a call anytime and we can meet up for coffee or whatever. Really. I've been there. I know how hard and painful some of the stuff can be, and I know the indescribable joy of working through stuff and getting out the other end.
My thoughts are with you. And YAY!!! on making the journey back safely and in one piece! :-) Welcome home!!
Such a relief to know that you are home safe and sound. I am so sorry about your car! You guys have been on one crazy ride.
I am sure you will settle in and things will calm down. There are so many MAJOR changes here. Getting help with the major changes seems to be the best thing you can do.
Hang in there!
So glad to hear you are home safe. It took my hubbie a good six months to feel normal again healthwise. It is a hard first few months with older ones. I can totally identify with the Post-adoption Blues....hard to talk about because people think you should just be over the moon. There is actually a book called Post Adoption Blues. I have it....let me know if you want the Author. It was good to know that I was normal and not crazy. Looking forward to seeing pictures of you all! Feel free to email anytime! Karen
So happy you are home safe and sound.
Seems like you have a lot going on upon your return and this to shall all pass - it is alot for all of you but it will calm down I'm sure!!
Feel better, get some rest, relax and take it one day at a time!!
Darlene
Glad you all made it home safe and sound. Sorry to hear things are rough right now. They will get better.
My best advice for the first few weeks home is to try to stick to Garrett's normal schedule as close as you can. Also try not to let him get overstimulated. It's best to just stay at home and not have many visitors for awhile.
Hope all gets better soon. I am sure it will.
Take care and enjoy the good moments.
Welcome home. We are so sorry to hear about the car -- geez, you guys deserve a break! I can't imagine being "almost home" and having to pull over. Ick.
It's a wonder everyone doesn't go through post-adoption blues. This trek, marathon, journey, whatever you want to call it, is so methodical in the beginning. Chasing paperwork, shopping, checking off tasks from the never-ending lists, etc. Just getting to Kaz is a huge accomplishment (as I sit here in the Almaty airport coffee shop, feeling pretty dang good about ourselves). If you're a planner, there is always something more to do. Then, wham, you are home, and reality hits. And, as the saying goes, reality (sometimes) sucks. That said, you are surrounded by people who "get it", who support you, and who are here to cheer you on. We're praying that your routine will come about soon enough, and that you will find help and comfort from the medical folks around you.
Hang tough, Karen, and Welcome home, family!
Welcome Home Pere Family!!!! We are so happy you made it home safe and sound. For us the first couple weeks were the hardest, especially trying to get back to our every day activities. We hope that you feel better soon-
Holly and Dean
Welcome back home! Even though it wasn't quite the homecoming you had imagined I'm sure there are many happier and healthier days ahead. You WILL get through these tough times (which sound completely normal from what I've read.) I guess it's just so hard with the initial reality is so far from the fantasy than you imagined when you started this process. Get well soon because that will help take the edge off everything else you're going through.
It's time to start building the real foundation of your relationship with your son -- brick by brick. It will be worth it and one day you will be able to look back on your first few days and weeks home and laugh at all the chaos.
Wish you and your beautiful family all the best!!!
P.S. Just this morning I read in my book, Adoption Parenting - Building a Toolbox, Creating Connections, that kids often regress because they need to. It is the ultimate body language when under stress. It's about control, but also that they need to go through the infant stage again to establish the core trust and bond. It's on page 68 of the book, which I highly recommend as a whole.
Welcome home! Hope you continue to feel better - I came home quite sick as well and it makes it extra tough to transition home.
Sounds like you are on it with the things you are doing and scheduling! Garrett is adorable - hope things improve quickly. It takes time - celebrate the small things. Thinking of you!
Welcome Pere Family.
I am sorry your homecoming wasn't exactly as you had hoped. Just know you are doing a great job.
Take care and God's blessings to you.
WOW. WELCOME HOME!! I cannot believe you are home! However, we are so sad you are sick. It sounds like an unbelievable trip! Plus the car??!!! WOW. That sucks! And yes, now all of the post-adoption stuff sets in - and even the post-partum blues. Try really hard to go easy on yourself. I know taht sounds insane and is probably impossible. I found the first 10 weeks to be horribly difficult. It is just such a massive adjustment for all, and there is so much emotion and suddenly all of the build up is over and now you are just home dealing with the aftermath of such a tremendously unique and overwhelming experience PLUS beginning to raise a child. Try to be sure to be kind to yourself if you can find a way. That was the thing I should have done that I didn't do from the start. Thinking of you.
So glad you made it back safely. That the last thing you needed was car trouble.
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