A lot has happened in the last couple of weeks. The first being Bob is now "officially" out of retirement. After just three weeks, he found himself a job—he'll be the newest salesperson at the Morrie's Mazda dealership. Zoom-zoom. Garrett and I are so proud of him. Although retirement was short lived, he did manage to sneak a visit to Greenville, SC to see his favorite niece and Garrett got to spend time with his cousin Carlie. (And Mom had the whole house to herself for four days.) Here's the seasoned traveler, hanging out at the terminal.
Here he is bouncing around with Carlie.
Aunt Laura (Bob's niece) and Uncle Jeff.
Balloon time...
The look of wonderment on Carlie's face is priceless.
Last Tuesday, the tooth fairy made her/his first appearance at the Williams. But before that could happen, Garrett made a trip to the dentist to have his two lower baby teeth pulled. His first adult tooth broke through and was a quarter of the way out while at the same time the baby teeth weren't budging. We had little choice but to yank them out. He did fine, our dentist was very gentle and he felt no pain, thanks to the novacaine and laughing gas.
We also attended part 1 of the IEP meeting at school. Garrett turns 7 in July, so he loses eligibility for special services under the category "Developmental Delay." Because of concerns regarding his rate of academic progress and ability to manage his behavior, they reevaluated him in the areas of intellectual functioning, academic performance, communication, fine motor skills, emotional-social/behavorial development and self/help functional skills. All told, about 22 tests. When compared to his peers, he's below average in almost every area. In the end, it was determined that he should continue to receive special education. While every parent wants to hear their child is a genius, we know Garrett needs all the help he can get. And thankfully he will receive that support. But there were things they said that were troubling such as he may always be a slow learner. (I don't agree.) His drawing skills are like that of an autistic child (Again, I don't agree—he had NO drawing skills whatsoever when we first met him, now he draws on the level of a three year old.) We've been seriously considering having Garrett repeat Kindergarten, except this time around he'd attend all-day K. At this meeting, both the psychologist and the special education teacher strongly discouraged us from doing that. Their reason? Garrett would graduate one month shy of his 20th birthday and that fact alone could emotionally make him want to drop out early. At this point, we feel Garrett is not equipped mentally or emotionally to be pushed to the next grade. The psychologist also told us he never recommends (under any circumstance) that any child be left behind. We want Garrett to feel successful and not be the class dummy. That a repeat of K would mean he'd be one of the smarter kids and gain a sense of confidence. We feel strongly that he could benefit from a catch-up year—on so many levels. Even if he'll be 8 when he starts first grade. (Remember he started school after only being here 4 months.) I'd rather he repeat K now, then a higher grade later. Any thoughts on this??????
11 comments:
Wow. Congratulations to Bob on the new job. That was fast! Was Garrett excited by the tooth fairy? Hmmm... I'll defer to the others on the question of having Garrett repeat Kindergarten. I have no real expertise in this area, though I will say that I am glad he is continuing to qualifiy for the services that will enable him to thrive academically. And I agree with you, he will absolutely not always be a slow learner. He's come a heck of a long way in a year.
I'm sure you'll make the right decision!
So much news...
congrats to Bob on the new job. That is wonderful.
I am glad that Garrett is still qualifying for special Ed so that he does get the help he needs. I don't know what to say about him repeating Kindergarten. Do they have summer school at his school?
One of my brother's really struggled in K and 1st grade--my parents sent him to summer school and that helped tremendously. He never stayed back and he ended graduating 2nd in his class. Of course that was almost 40 years ago so I don't know what they do now.
Wow, lots of stuff going on! First of all, congrats to Bob on leaving retirement. :-) I bet that makes things feel a little bit more relaxed.
I honestly don't know what I'd do if I were in your shoes. Ok, scratch that- that's a cop out answer. :-) If I were truly in that situation with Gigi, I guess my short answer is I'm not satisified with either option. Graduating at almost 20 is not going to help her self esteem at all- especially with the teenage years being rough enough. Neither will struggling through 1st grade, and perhaps subsequent grades. Neither option would be acceptable to me. I guess I would either look into specialized schooling, tutors, or even home school for the next couple of years to get her caught up with the goal of having her rejoin her peers around 3rd or 4th grade. That's just my two cents, based on my level of comfortibility, and our family dynamics. Like Sara said though, I'm sure you will make the right decision for you and your family! Best of luck in determining what that will be.
Taking notes, thinking thru, will discuss at a later date.....hey, are you free on Friday? hugs!
So, basically, he would be 19 when he graduates? I don't think that would be all that bad. Also, is it possible for him to go to summer school to get ahead later? It seems like looking forward to when he graduates high school is a little far-sighted. He needs help now.
It seems like your gut is telling you to repeat. It makes sense because of all the reasons you give. It seems like it takes a while for some kids to learn how to navigate the ins and outs of school. It sounds like Garrett needs some extra time to do that.
P.S. Congrats to Bob and I love the first photo of Garrett.
Congrats on Bob's new job! Do you see a shiny red Miata in your future???
On the topic of Garrett repeating Kindergarten... I am no expert and have zero experience or qualification in the area. However, as I read your post I was struck by a couple thoughts and felt compelled to share (since you asked for opinions).
First, I (personally) would seriously question a professional who never recommends holding a child back under any circumstance. Surely there are circumstances where that would be appropriate and even advisable, right?
Second, I was struck by the "any child left behind" phrasing in the same sentence. Whether those were the exact words or not, it is a common phrase in our society that sums up many of our societal views. Being "left behind" is bad. It conjures up such negative implications as being forgotten, being lonely, being a failure, etc. However, the reality of having a child repeat a year of school is actually giving them a second chance, giving them extra time to learn, slowing the process down so they can discover strengths and abilities, etc. For me it is all in how you look at it.
Are we not doing kids a disservice when we push them through school before they are ready? I am constantly angered by the all too frequent stories of kids graduating high school without the skills to read, write, count, etc. How are they able to graduate? Is it because the professionals don't want the kids to feel left behind? Is that more important than actually learning something? Doesn't that take an emotional toll on our kids? What about the emotional toll of suffering through 12 murky years of never quite grasping class topics? Of subsequent low grades? Of being teased? Of feeling inadequate because you were pushed beyond your means?
That said, the decision to hold a child back for a year is a difficult one, to put it mildly. I would agree with some of the other commenters that the ideal situation would be to have Garrett catch up through summer school, tutoring, or other resources and that holding him back would be a last resort. However, only YOU know him, his abilities, your abilities and your tolerance parameters for the situation and all of its ramifications. It really is a personal decision that is best made with qualified professional guidance.
I truly wish you luck in your decision!
Sara
P.S. I just reread what I wrote which was in part some subtle venting about our education system in general. All kids learn in different ways and at different paces. I am all for pushing kids as long as it produces results. Unfortunately, our system too often pushes kids through with the result that they are truly left behind.
I say go with your gut feeling!!!
NC has changed their deadline for starting kindergarten so Kobe will be 6 when he starts. His birthday is 1 week after the deadline. He will be almost 19 when he graduates unless he needs to repeat a grade & then he will be almost 20.
Can he do the summer school if available or do tutoring via Sylvan or another like entity? Then have him evaluated before the new school year starts and see if he has made any progress. If he has made some progress I would add extra tutoring to the schedule and let him head to first grade. If not enough progress was made stick with kindergarten another year but be ready to do tutoring/summer school each year and hopefully that will allow him to catch up in the next few years which gives the little guy some time to catch up.
congrats Bob on getting a job!
I personally would hold him back. He can make up a grade or so later. Once he fully grasps everything around him. I think it's foolish of them to look so far ahead, he needs help NOW or he won't be able to catch up.
You do have a tough decision and I'm curious what you decide.
Alyona starts K at age 6/finishes at 7 next year... So she's 1-1.5 years older than her peers - and started later because she was home 3 mo when school started. I remember you were wondering about changing his age while in Kaz. Its so hard, isn't it?
THinking of you.
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