During the end of our trip in Almaty, we met up with another Tree of Life family--Jack, Cheryl and Hailee Ollman--who were on their way to Uralsk to adopt for the second time. Back in 1999, they adopted Hailee at age three from babyhouse #1 in Uralsk. Now they were going back to adopt an older child, a "sister" for Hailee. It was a courageous decision on their part as older children are far more challenging to bond with. Unlike younger children, they get to be part of the decision process. So many times it's up to them whether the visitation continues or not. Also, generally speaking, older children have more fears--do these Americans only want me for my body parts? (Yes, horror stories like that run amok over there.) Or "How can I leave my family here in Uralsk?" (Even though no relative may have visited them in years they still hold out hope.)
Well it seems the Ollman's have run into every barrier possible. The first girl, whom they spent many days with, never seemed happy. They tried many ways to connect with her with no luck. In the end, they came to the conclusion that her goals were different than theirs and sadly had to say goodbye. Then there was the second girl. With her, there was an immediate bond; she genuinely seemed happy to be with them and their hope was renewed. But that quickly vanished when she revealed later on that she had a grandmother (who never visited her) and didn't want to leave her "family" behind. Another crushing blow, but they decided to give it one last try. Determined to bring a child home, this time they're looking at a younger girl in the 10 to 11-year-old range. I pray this time it works out for them. Hailee so much wants a sister and we all know older children rarely get the oppportunity to be adopted. Most important, the Ollman's are such a loving family and any child should be so lucky to call Cheryl and Jack mama and papa.
Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers today.
4 comments:
Wow - what an interesting process with it's own challenges. I imagine that these children are quite fearful of the unknown. Heck, they've barely known anything outside of the orphanage let alone outside of their country. All the best wishes to your friends and their quest to provide a forever family to another child.
so sorry to hear this, it is very complicated when older siblings are involved. I hope the girls will take the right decision for themselves. It is very hard for them when they dont know anythign different, and we all know, it is very hard to leave the family behind.
What a heartbreaking story-but, having juts come back from a family retreat with our church, I just have to believe that they will end up with the child that is meant to be with them. Certainly, this process is not easy, and for them, even harder. It's sure not easy, but really, in life, nothing truly worthwhile is easy, right? :)
Karen & Bob:
My husband and I are members of the yahoo group and I view your blog..First of all - what a beautiful child! Secondly - we are anxiously waiting for a 3 (4 by the time we get there) year old. I just wanted some input on you experience with and "older" child. Bonding, how long before sending them to Preschool, your first visit ect...my email is martpru@hotmail.com...As time allows for you I would love to chat. Thank you & enjoy!!!
Post a Comment