Bob once described Garrett as a toddler on crack. He's a two year old in a five-year-old body. He never stops. Whether it’s repeating the same five words loudly over and over, turning things on and off, running inside and outside, eating, flushing the toilet, opening the refrigerator door—it never ends. Now we were warned all about this, but until you experience it day in and out, you don't really understand what you're getting into. It’s total sensory overload for him. Basically he's been in a box his entire life. Everything’s new. Everything needs to be experienced. Nothing keeps him interested for more than two minutes (except “Shrek” or “Finding Nemo”). And although he loves bath time, he grinds his teeth and squeals with such intensity that you’d think he put his finger in a light socket. If I’m exhausted, imagine how he must feel.
I described all of the above to Dr. Johnson and his OT therapist and their consensus was Garrett has general global developmental delays due to a lack of early sensory stimulation and developmental experiences. (Totally what one would expect from a child who’s been institutionalized since birth.) To calm him down, they suggested wrapping him in a thick blanket to provide external stimulation or making a lap buddy—a weighted sock filled with beans to help soothe and build concentration. If these don’t work then further evaluation and medically based therapy might be necessary with a pediatric OT with an expertise in sensory integration.
Now to end on a positive note. Dr. Johnson sees Garrett showing good attachment behavior. So much so that he cries constantly for his mama and papa at daycare. But I'll leave that for a later post.
10 comments:
I am glad to hear that the attachment is going well.
Boy do we need to chat about the sensory issues. Sounds so much like Dmitrii. Dmitrii's has calmed down some, such as the teeth grinding is over with (thank God). He is always on the go and has to constantly touch and feel. His sensory issues are mostly tactile which is why the need for touch. Garrett probably has it a bit more severe than Dmitrii since he was in an orphanage longer.
I am going to look through my old emails and find your email addy. Then we can chat a bit about the sensory thing. I have learned a few things that seem to help a bit.
I've been quietly following your blog, and I wanted to thank you for your openness. This post struck home with me. I just returned with my 9 month old and I'm seeing some of this behavior. Your son is adorable and obviously, is a blessed little boy. It's easy to see that you're meant to be a family. If Kim is willing to talk to me too, I'd be thrilled. Best, Susan from Austin smooretexan@yahoo.com
Boy o boy just reading your post made me exhausted! I am so happy that he is bonding to you well.
hey sweetie! I'm so sorry for Garrett (and you guys). I have read a few blogs where kids have had this issue and mentioned the blanket,and other things. I'm sure that by reaching out, you will meet other mom's and dad's who have dealt with this successfully.
I'm glad to hear he's attaching to you, but sorry to hear he cries. :(
That's always sad.
Being a parent is certainly not easy, but very rewarding (most days)
Hang in there!
Thinking of you often...
Love,
Susan
Oh the poor sweet little guy! He must be so overwhelmed - even with all of the new GOOD stuff in his life. The fact that he cries out for the two of you is probably a fantastic sign in terms of attachment, and that is a beautiful tribute to the two of you as parents and as human beings. Clearly he knows he is loved and has 2 people he can count on - even if he is overstimulated. It must be exhausting and scary to see him move around so fast and to know that he is having a hard time - even if you do understand why and know what needs to happen. You two are courageous, just as Garrett is. We send our warmest prayers that everything gets better - even little by little - for the sweet child - and for you.
Sounds like you are doing all the right things and getting expert advice on the issues you are finding. I'm sorry evryone is exhausted and I'm sure in time things will move more smoothly and be less stressful & exhausting.
Darlene
The pediatric OT is a great idea to give you some advice on things you can do to help his sensory system. Tolerating sounds, pressure, textures of things, movement, coordination, and processing information can all be affected by that lack of experience. It is amazing how important that stimulation is when children are young. He will make up for it, though, with your loving help. Glad to hear that his attachment to you is going well. Hope you enjoy your summer. Looks like we will be spending the summer in Kaz! Tricia
I am so happy to see that his attachment to you is growing!
I wanted to thank you too about this latest update. This is something we should keep in mind and look for in our little one. I can imagine that it tires you out....especially poor Garrett. But you know what he is going through and now have help.
Hang in there!!!
Eileen
Hi Karen!! Amy here!! Poor little guy!! He probably is so oversaturated with new experiences he can't relax at all. What can you do? What we take for granted as boring everyday experiences are like fun time at the circus for our kids. I totally understand!
I wanted to chat with you about the daycare. Garrett is having a real hard time with missing you when he is at daycare huh? Poor thing. This has been my concern regarding putting Karina in. Right now she is coming with me to my office (family owned business) and even though it is okay to keep doing so you can imagine it is a big distraction from work. Actually this is true for everyone here because she is so cute and charms everyone into playing with her during the day. Anyway, about a week ago I spent three hours with her at the daycare near my office and she had a good time but did try and get her coat and lead me out three different times. She still cries if I go to the bathroom by myself and lock the door, cries if I go out in the warehouse, etc. I am trying to leave without her to run short errands (5 to 10 minutes) to get her a bit use to the idea of my being gone. This goes somewhat well but she has become very use to the people here and that helps. Still cries like crazy even though I tell her I am coming back. I want to put Karina in daycare (four hours a day) because I think it will seriously help her catch up to her peers in language, writing, motor skills and want to give her a year to do this so she will be ready for kindergarten by next August but am concerned over the following things:
1) The separation anxiety and having her cry the entire time I am gone.
2) The upset to our current rather calm schedule - when we visited for that three hours Karina was so hyped up afterwards she fought me hard about napping even though I could tell she was exhausted - changing her schedule by including school is just another adjustment hurdle I feel we are going to have to surmount. And as I am sure you understand once things get predictable and good and calm it is hard to want to mess with that.
3) Problems that might happen that make the daycare ask her to not come back. When we visited a boy blatantly took away Karina's toy two different times - I watched her and she did cry about it but I was worried that she would haul off and hit the kid which wouldn't be too unusual in the orphanage but can get you in big trouble here if you do that repeatedly even if provoked. Also, during the storytime Karina couldn't manage to sit quietly on the carpet and listen to the story - I had to pull her away and talk to her about getting a timeout before she would sit and listen quietly. Also if I have her there past a certain time she would be asked to lay down on a cot and maybe they would have better success than me but for me Karina will occasionally scream and cry. My office manager thinks it is a great idea to have the daycare deal with the problem of nap time and I think it is wrong to dump my child's problems in their lap and expect them to fix it. Especially after watching all the kids in her age group behaving so well I am worried that my child would be labeled a trouble maker even though she is pretty darn good in relation to what she has been through compared to other kids she is a bit higher maitenance.
I am trying to decide what to do:
A) Wait for another two months so Karina can adjust a bit more and stay on our current schedule before enrolling her.
B) Enroll her and plan on spending the first six weeks with her at the daycare each day leaving for a longer and longer period of time till she is able to be there on her own without being upset.
Do you have any advice Karen or input or just feel like commiserating? Let me know.
Amy
I sympathize with you. You must be exhausted. (Of course a good exhausted.) I still need to send you the books. (They are on my counter) I will try to get htose off this week. Plus I will see if I have any of the "brushes" we used on my kids when they were doing OT. One kid enjoyed it, one did not. I'm not sure what and how it all works - they say it helps for kids with sensory disorders. So it is worth a try.
I hope all is well. I am sending positive boy thoughts your way!!!
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