Today is better. We've felt completely disconnected with the outside world, without a cell phone or laptop. But today our wonderful coordinator Yulia allowed us to borrow her mobile and now we have communication. (For us, the landline in the apartment is basically worthless.) Still need to figure out the laptop situation, but for now we're settling for an internet cafe. Rates are relatively cheap, but it's far from our apartment.(About 40 minutes at a brisk walking pace.)
Our second visit with Nurlan (our boy's given name)was a hard one. I think Bob scared him, so for most of the hour he was in tears. Today's visit was far better. He seemed happy to see us and even sat on Bob's lap. (I think he has a crush on our interpreter Luba as she "merited" a kiss goodbye from him.) I was happy with a hug and a smile. We later visited with the babyhouse doctor who gave us the low down on his health. Seems pretty good so far. His only physical issue (and it's probably more cosmetic than anything) is that his head is oddly shaped in the back. But he has a cute face and personality. We'll receive the medical translation later today and email both his photos and diagnosis this afternoon to the U of MN International Adoption Clinic--and pray for a 24-hour response. (The clinic is closed Fri, Sat and Sun.) We're trying not to waste days as our expenses are running higher than expected.
I'm also having a real hard time sleeping. In fact, I didn't sleep a wink last night. This whole process turns your world (and gut) upside down. Sara and Julian warned us that these first few days are the hardest and they were right. Anxieties run high. While we were visiting with the Ministry of Education we found out that they require one more notarized and apostilled document from us. Before only single people were required to show proof of guardianship. Now they're asking the same for married couples. Yulia is checking into it, but if this is the case, then we'll have to have our friends Suzanne and Mike jump through some hoops with notaries and apostilles. (Will the paperwork ever end?)
No door knockers last night (thank goodness) but there are many wandering dogs barking throughout the night. We also live near a mosque, so we hear their haunting calls twice a day. The land of Kaz is unlike anything I've ever experienced. Mud everywhere. No sidewalks. Roaming packs of sorry-sack dogs. The smell of petro that burns your nostrils. Dilapidated Post-Soviet apartment buildings. (Don't know how people manage to stay chipper.)
Will write more tomorrow. Good luck to everyone out there who is or is about to embark upon this trip. We've been gone from home six days now and finally are finding our legs today.
Paka-paka.
19 comments:
Glad to hear you are starting to get your "Kaz legs" so to speak. Once you start sleeping, it will all look brighter. We are thinking of you and wishing you a smooth transition in these early days of your stay. Nurlan sounds like a special boy. We will stay tuned for more good news.
Happy bonding and sweet dreams...
Sara and Julian
P.S. We got your door knocker last night. Except we have a door bell. A very loud one with endless chimes. Located immediately outside our bedroom.
I can't imagine what it must be like, especially with zero sleep. That is rough. Your son sounds darling, and i'm sure this is a scary process for him too.
Are you freezing or is the weather pretty warm?
Ugh on the other piece of paperwork-that is stressful, but i'm glad you had friends who can take care of that for you.
I guess we should ask our agency if that is a new requirement..
We're all thinking of you and cheering for you from here.
I'm sure that once you get some sleep you'll feel much better too. I'm a real wench with no sleep.
Glad to hear things are settling down a bit...and Nurlan sounds great! Those first few days can be really assaulting on the senses, but once decisions are made and the mud dries, you will find yourselves in the journey of a lifetime! Hang in there, and get some sleep!
Quaintance
Noah has an odd shaped head too. We were told it is because he was born premature. It is hardly noticeable with longer hair. The first few days are rough, believe me I know. As soon as you get on a "regular" sleep schedule life will be much better. Did you bring any Tylenol PM? It works!
Wow what a story. I've been warned of the mud and the dirt, and how dirty the feet and shins become from walking around. I've heard about the roaming dogs, andpictures of apartment hallways and its hard to imagine. You must be exhausted!
I;m glad Nurlan is warming up and I hope that everything comes back from the IA dr great.
Thoughts ad prayers are with you!
It can take a while to click over into roll-with-it travel mode. Glad you've got yours. I hope the medical stuff checks out and you can move forward with confidence.
Sorry you are having a rough time. The first days are indeed hard. I cried my first day in Kazakhstan, it was all just too different and overwhelming... especially with almost no sleep.
It seems they are always adding "just one more" piece of paper to the stack of requirements. Frustrating!
Okay, now on to the good stuff. I am so glad you have met your boy. Sounds like a cute and charming boy. Can't wait to hear more about him and see some pictures! In a couple more days he will start to open up more and show you more personality and the bonding really begins. That's the way it seems to go... day 4 or 5 are usually the "magic" days when the kids finally hit their comfort zone with you.
Good luck and get some rest, it all gets better.
I'm so sorry that you are having trouble sleeping! I did too for the first few days - one night I took 1/2 of a tylenol pm and it made all the difference in the world. I felt so much better after that.
So glad to hear about your little guy! He sounds so sweet! We had a crier, too - he was very scared of Daddy. He warmed up, though! Hoping things continue to progress!
I wish you sweet dreams in the coming nights and happy bonding moments.
Laura
This 'breaking in' period seems to be normal and soon you'll be dancing around the city! I'm happy to hear that Nurlan is healthy. I can't imagine that head shape (unless it is severe - and you would have noticed that) is anything out of the ordinary.
Don't be too hard on poor Kazakhstan. I'm sure it was a lot better before the Soviets got ahold of it (their sense of style is extremely utilitarian). And this Winter-early Spring transition (when it is still cold but just muddy and bleak) is an ugly time of year for almost any city. I'm sure that once the weather warms up a bit more and things turn greener and more people hit the streets - you'll find more to love.
P.S. And most developing countries who can't afford to fund a Humane Society have the roaming dog problem. Very sad!
Sleep will come-- I promise!! I found after the first few nights of just getting 3 or 4 hours, each night thereafter I slept a little longer-- until I was sleeping through my cruddy little alarm clock! A couple of days, I would have missed the car to the babyhouse if someone from my family didn't call to check in.. Nurlan sounds wonderful, and I can't wait to see a pic.. I think its pretty common that the kids are more shy around men-- most are just not used to having men around. But if Nurlan is already warming to Bob, it probably won't be long before your little boy is hanging off him like a monkey :)
Jeannine
ps-- I forgot about the dogs! I couldn't believe it, the first night I was woken up by them fighting in the park behind our hotel!
Congrats Karen and Bob on making it so far in kaz land already! good news about Nurlan so far, hope it continues. I remember the sleep deprivation thing - mine lasted the first couple of weeks. Then, it was all I could do to stay awake for the next couple of weeks. don't skimp on the Tylenol pm if you have it - it really will make everything a lot easier to get some sleep.
And for a taste of home when you need it - go to the Chagala and order a pizza for dinner. You won't be sorry. I don't recommend the breakfast buffet however - mushrooms, hot dogs and baked beans - but after 5pm or so, the pizza rocks!
At the MOE - was it 3 people interviewing you? and the social worker has gold teeth? I remember thinking that experience was just surreal. And my daughter STILL thinks gold teeth are the most glamorous thing ever- hope she grows out of that soon.
all the best,
Lisa
Luckily, everything was frozen for us until April but oh, do I remember the emerging mud...we actually wished for lower temps to freeze everything back!
Nick has a funny shaped back of the head too. I noticed it pretty quickly since he had such short hair. The doctor said it was just his shape...no big deal (although he was a preemie too as the other comment said above?) Nick also was a bit scared of Pat at first..quite normal they say. Nick actually cried more as our time went along...we wondered what in the world? but he is great now...just the stress of all of it, I suppose...Can't imagine what goes thru their little minds during that bonding time.
Hope the sleep comes soon...
Wow Karen, what stories...thanks for the update!
Wouldn't want to live there and if I visited, I'd want to bring all the animals back with me.
I wonder what people think when they come to Minnesota for the first time, especially in winter.
Today I waded through several inches of brown snow to cross the street downtown here to work and buses were all late because of the snow. It's pretty in the trees though, especially around the lakes.
It's Bob's deep voice, I was scared of him too at first. But I won't sit in his lap.
Think of you everyday, hope you can get some sleep!!!
Love to you both, Rochelle
Incredible. You guys are going through so much - and yes, the roaming packs of dogs and mud and all of that does not help ease the mind, body or heart. Well, hopefully you'll come to some decisions soon and you will feel a bit more settled. Oh the paperwork is UNREAL!!! YOU POOR THINGS! Thinking of you so much!!!
So glad that you've found this little guy and things are falling into place so far. Can't wait to read more!
Wow, now that's a bit of a rough start. (I can only imagine the dicussions surrounding that lost computer. UGH). We are really pulling for you and cheering you on, as Susan said ... we know it is so tough in the beginning, but as others before you have said, there just doesn't seem to be any way to REALLY prepare ourselves for what we will face. We are just certain that the fog will clear soon enough, and you will be sleeping when you are supposed to be sleeping, and experiencing clear-headed exicitement as you bond with your son. We send happy thoughts your way and pray that your bodies are soon cooperating.
Hi Karen and Bob,
Congratulations on meeting your son!!!! I'm glad you're finally getting adjusted and comfortable. Must be quite a culture shock!
I can't wait to see photos! Stay safe and have fun getting to know your little one.
(P.S. Do you know if that new piece of paperwork needed country-wide?)
Wow, I'm just catching up on your journey. What a culture shock. The mud and dogs sound kind of scary, but when you get on the plane to come home with your little guy it will all be worth it.
Paula
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