Seems more like three months. While we wait for the guardianship letter to make its way to Uralsk (last time I checked with Fed Ex it's sitting in Frankfurt, scheduled to arrive on March 31st) we continue to visit Garrett Nurlan twice a day. He's definitely our little bright spot in this city. Everything is hard here: from the hard water (that ruins your clothes and makes your hair do funny things) to hard mattresses to the hardened faces, everywhere you look people are struggling to exist. For one thing, the day starts late here: most retail businesses don't open until noon. There's virtually no customer service. In a post-Soviet world, there's little incentive to go the extra mile. Garbage is everywhere. Dirty dogs run scared. People walk around covered in mud. No one smiles or extends a helping hand. You pay for plastic bags at the supermarket and TP at the public toilets.
Bottom line, you're on your own. Yet this is country where our son was born, so we smile even though the smiles are never returned. We open doors for others even though we are ignored. And we strive to see the beauty in this city and its people.
10 comments:
hang in there!!! it's almost March 31st. I think Uralsk probably looks different in the summertime. Just think of all the summertime joys you'll have with Garrett once you get home. :)
You will appreciate your soft bed that much more, and perhaps even the people you thought rude today at home will seem less rude.
We're all following your journey with light in our hearts as we see your precious son and how he lights up your life and how you light up his. :)
You are the eternal optimist seeing a difficult place as if it were half positive. I am sre you are making a difference there even if it feesl unappreciated. Just think, your son doesnt have to grow up there feeling that he is all alone.
Im sending gentle warm Florida breezes and good throughts your way and know you are appreciated and thought of!
Don't be too hard on Uralsk. It is a hard winter. It sounds like you are a little homesick as well. I just don't want you to leave with a feeling that it is an awful place so I'm going to challenge your assumptions/observations because I think you are seeing much of the cultural differences - not necessarily good or bad - just things you are not used to. First, customer service doesn't exist in Europe either (and tips don't motivate in Russia either - we tried and tried). The US is one of the more unusual countries in this regard, Second, other countries don't view dogs as "part of the family" as we do and think that it is perfectly normal for them to run around free on the streets and not cruel as we would. Third - I know plenty of places in the US with hard water that ruins your clothes too! Fourth - many people of other cultures are aloof on the street but once you become a friend you have a loyal friend for life. And they say that Americans are the opposite - we smile at everyone yet our friendships are superficial. Finally, I don't think it is a bad thing that you pay for plastic bags and wish they would do this in the US to keep them out of landfills (this is actually done extensively in Europe too). And I also don't think it is a bad thing that stores open late - we Americans are so rushed rushed rushed that we have to "get things done" 24/7. Doesn't seem healthy and certainly is not the norm in Europe either.
So, hopefully this helps you to see things from a different perspective and through a different cultural lens.
Hi Karen and Bob,
Sorry to hear the winter is dragging on in Uralsk. Soon you will be in Almaty where things are less bleak. And before you know it, you will be back in MN as a happy family of 3!
Congrats on the end of your bonding period. Hang in there!
Sara and Julian
It's interesting what Kelly had to say about the cultural differences. It does help put things in perspective.
Take care!
Rochelle
Oh yes - I remember feeling the same way Karen. I know a lot of people who loved being in Uralsk -but I've never been able to figure out why. For me, it was just a time to get through. One day at a time.
And I read the comment about the cultural differences - all of them are true, no doubt, and it is very healthy to keep perspective so it was kind to point out all of the similarities. But it was never so tangible for me - was hard to put my finger on it but I just had a hard time there. Despite the similarites, somehow, I'd have rather been in Europe......... anywhere in Europe!
Hang in there - time does bring perspective!... or not :)
I'm assuming you are at the pre-school - is that right?
Lisa
Oh yes - I remember feeling the same way Karen. I know a lot of people who loved being in Uralsk -but I've never been able to figure out why. For me, it was just a time to get through. One day at a time.
And I read the comment about the cultural differences - all of them are true, no doubt, and it is very healthy to keep perspective so it was kind to point out all of the similarities. But it was never so tangible for me - was hard to put my finger on it but I just had a hard time there. Despite the similarites, somehow, I'd have rather been in Europe......... anywhere in Europe!
Hang in there - time does bring perspective!... or not :)
I'm assuming you are at the pre-school - is that right?
Lisa
What a great attitude you have. I'm enjoying following your journey and realize that there are many ups and downs. What a great experience (makes you appreciate home) and wonderful gift you are getting from Kaz. You can tell from your posts how in love you truly are!
Hang in there! It is hard to be away from home for a long time. I remember being in beautiful Florence, Italy and suffering from a bout of homesickness. It can happen anywhere and is completely understandable.
You have been so positive and upbeat through all the ups and downs of this trip. Garrett will benefit from this positive perspective.
You will be home soon!
HI Karen,
It must be hard to feel so far away from home and to feel like everything is so hard. I can't understand since I haven't been there but I did like reading your description and the comments that Kelly left--We do need to remember that we are in a different culture and look for the good in it but it is hard to miss familiarity--people and comforts we are used to.
It sounds like you are doing a great job of remembering that this is the country that gave you your son and making the best of it.
Continue to look for the good things so that you can keep those memories for Nurlan.
Take care.
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