Thank you so much for all your wonderful suggestions regarding Nurlan. I'm thrilled to learn that there are so many resources available out there. And that changing his age could jeopardize receiving those services. (Not to mention that it could cause a huge rift between us once he learned of his real age.) All of which convinces me not to do it.
Nurlan has really honed his scissor cutting skills. During our morning visit, he was quite content sitting in mama's lap cutting scrap paper into tiny pieces. The fact that he was able to sit still for minutes on end, focusing on just one task gave me a glimmer of hope. The paperwork for the court hearing has begun. We spent some time at the notary office today. Supposedly, there's "lots" of documents that need signatures (all in blue ink) and notarized. Our notary asked us who we were going to vote for in the election, which was the first political question we've been asked since arriving. I guess all eyes are on the U.S.
On Friday, Nurlan goes to get his passport and Visa pictures. It'll be hs first time leaving the orphanage grounds with us. Of course, he'll be accompanied by his caretaker. In fact, every visit there's someone in the room, observing our interactions with him. Usually it's the psychologist. Other times it's been his doctor, the assistant director of the orphanage, his teacher and caretaker. They'll report their findings in court truthfully. The first few days, Bob deliberately stayed in the background allowing me time to bond with Nurlan. Apparently that was a big no-no. His teacher (who was there at the time) seemed concerned and asked Bob whether he liked Nurlan. She even called our coordinator to ask the same question. Fortunately, Yulia explained away her concerns. Lesson learned. Now Bob and I are both bonding with Nurlan.
Back to our photo problem, we're still trying to post picturess. Turns out the CD that we thought had all our photos on it is blank. So Plan B is to ask the internet cafe people if they can upload the images onto a Flash stick. If we had a laptop, this would be such a simple task. But then again, nothing's easy in the land of Kaz. Ugh. (I think we're the only adoption blog without photos--so sorry.)
Stay tuned.
10 comments:
I'm glad you are feeling better about everything. It's always amazing to see how each babyhome does things, they are all slightly different. I hope you get the picture thing worked out, we didn't post pictures of Gunnar until the adoption was final so you are not alone in that reguard. :)
Ann
i wouldn't worry about the photo's. of course, we'd all like to see him, but as Ann pointed out, a lot of people don't share until the adoption is final anyway.
we just like hearing from you. I was so impressed with all the comments you got, too. What a wonderfully supportive group!! So many people have also said (and i have seen it thru pictures) how rapidly the children develop with some one on one time. I think the more time you spend with your son, the better he is going to be. His whole lil world is going thru such a huge change. Not only does he have you guys, but all the resources and all the advice available out there, you are going to be just fine, in fact, way better than fine. :)
I'm glad everyone knows now that Bob loves Nurlan too. Man, it would be kinda weird to have everyone watching you. We are learning so much from you already being there.
We are still hoping for May, but no LOI as of yet.
Cheering you on from here. :)
Love,
Susan
Hi Karen,
It sounds like things are moving along, in a positive direction. Of course we would like to see photos but we all understand both technical problems and your decision whether or not to show them ;-) I'm thinking of you in Taraz!
Shannon
Waiting longer for photos makes it more dramatic! We will be all the more excited over him when you finally get the tech problems worked out.
I think you will see some great progress from Nulan even in the short time of the bonding process. The kids just thrive with some love and attention. All that one on one time is going to do great things for your boy.
Oh my goodness you guys are being so scrutinized! That must be so hard! Glad you cleared up the whole "Bob in the background thing"!
Cannot wait for photos. Glad you are feeling better about things. Thinking of you!
Glad that you have come to some resolution on the birthday issue. It makes sense. I really liked the advice to measure Nurlan by Nurlan standards that many gave you. I think that is one of the best pieces of advice a parent can receive and follow. There is such a tendency towards "norming" in most school systems. It is good to pay heed to these standards, but not let them rule your life.
And, the scissor skills are great. Our 4 year-old stinks with scissors. One step at a time.
The constant observation has to feel weird. I can understand Bob's thinking especially if Nurlan was afraid of him because of his gender. Who wants to make the little guy upset in front of any of these observers?
You are great parents already!
One of my sons used to love cutting paper when he was that age too. It would occupy him like nothing else would. Nurlan sounds like a wonderful boy.
Tracey
HI Karen and Bob,
Sounds like you guys are doing so well as parents of Nurlan and really being proactive in thinking of everything you ned to do.
I don't have any advice but am learning a lot from you. Thanks so much for sharing your story.
Waiting for photos will make them that much more special.
things are warming up in Minnesota. We hit thr 40's yesterday and had a lot ot melting snow. It will look different when you come back.
Mary
That's ok about the photos - we just like hearing about him and your experiences there. I'm sure there will be lots of breakthroughs even in your short time there. I'm still amazed at how the children progress during these bonding periods.
I'm so glad things are going well and it sounds like it'll get better every day! I, too, can't wait to see pictures but of course understand all the challenges and reasons to hold off. I also thought you got some great input about his age and all - I agree that you don't need to make a decision like that right now. Once you get him home and start to settle in, possibly get some evaluations and services, you'll get a better feel for where he's at. I don't remember how long (if you've said) he's been there, but I've heard that for every three months a child is in an orphanage, they lag one month of development (I think I'm getting that right) - but that they almost always can gain that development quickly once home and receiving all that entails. I'll be excited to hear how things progress as you get to know him and vice versa!
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